I speak

I’m told to be quite

I sing

I’m silenced 

I dance

I’m told to sit

I play outside

I’m told not to get dirty

I ask a question 

I’m told when you get older you’ll know

I sit with the older kids

I’m told to act my age

I cry

I’m told to hold it in

I ask to play with you

I’m told you don’t have time

I get hurt/injured

I’m told thats life

I kiss you

I’m told i’m grown up for that

I was 8 years old then. If you can’t find the time to answer, play, laugh, and love me. How can I be myself around you. Do you honestly believe im going to be the same? 

If I show any sign of emotion and affection, i’m told and taught over and over again to suppress it. 

If my own parents thought they were teaching me to be better, they were stripping me of my identity.

She has no idea, that i go to bed crying on my pillow every night because I can’t show her my emotional side. I can’t even show her that I care. 

To the point where I can’t love her. 

I’m 24 now, im still suffering from emotional sabotage of my mothers parenting. You think it doesn’t matter. You think it doesn’t affect me. 

It has affected me and every relationship I have tried to be in. 

And you ask me why I can’t feel you.